I gave my all

I cuddled you and held you close to me at night.

I let myself fall in love with the idea of us.

I professed my love to the world.

I put you inside my skin.

I supported you financially and emotionally.

I loved your kids as my own and rearranged my home to give them their own space.

I found myself making your family the priority.

I gave you my heart.

You gave me drama.

You gave me lies and I tried to believe you anyway.

You used me and left me broke.

You destroyed my home and peace.

You made my children sad for what I accepted from you.

You brought me shame because I believed you.

I see things more clear now than I ever have. 

They rescue you, yet they hurt you. 

They hurt you because you have used them too many times, which hurt them. 

You destroyed them beating them with your toxic cycle leaving them all angry and bitter with you. 

Yet your still able to manipulate them with your emotional breakdowns needing them to rescue you. This part of the cycle gives them the feeling of being in control, seeing you hurt as you have hurt them many times before. They give you crumbs because they enjoy seeing you suffer, even though it also hurts them. And you see it as you’re in control and in many ways you are.
This toxic vicious web you all weave is unaccepting of someone who encourages growth. Who avoids drama and conflict, who pushes for you to be better. 

And in your cycle, as you tried to suck me into the web, you actually allowed me to separate from the picture you painted of what we would be. You gave me space to see the truth, the cycle repeating again almost identical as before. You handed me my independence back not even knowing what you were doing. You expected me to jump into the game as they have all done for so many years and save you, coddle you. 

You were not counting on me loving myself more.

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