Spinning empty

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It’s like everything makes no sense anymore, but I’m finally okay with that. I accept I’ve been foolish and careless. I’m in awe when I think of the chapters I’ve completed so far, and how little sense any of them make. I can’t believe I’m still here, breathing, fighting.

I have been so many different characters, and replayed some too many times hoping to change the ending. For the first time in my life I don’t care what happens tomorrow or what happened yesterday. I’m numb and empty, but it’s different now. I know wherever my path is, it is not meant with anyone from my past. Maybe it’s just meant for me and I’m okay with that. Maybe there is this lottery of light waiting behind a door I never considered.

Suddenly I realized, I will be okay and it’s time to let go and move on. And the fear of the unknown disappeared because my life has shown me, it will always work out. It’s okay that I fall, just regroup and continue on. And stop trying so fucking hard. Stop being the better person. Just be yourself, with no apologies or regrets.

I am who I am. And flaws and all, I’m still pretty great bitches!

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