I’ve made this step before. It’s necessary and it’s embarrassing that I seem to have back-peddled. But taking the step is crucial to my sanity.
Some people are like chameleons.
We want to believe they are good. The positive fun colors, bright yellow and glowing red. Happiness and love. Maybe because we gave so much to the person or the relationship. Maybe because we are stuck in the wrong time, memories playing in our head like a movie we can’t seem to stop. Usually because we want so badly to be able to trust our own judgements of who we give ourselves to. Maybe we haven’t really dealt with the situation in our heart. Unable to fall apart so we buried the pain and suffering deep down. And it continues to creep it’s way out, and you still don’t want to process those feelings so you try to keep pushing them down. Medicating the toll it’s taking on your health. Life has a way of forcing us to break down. We are all human and it’s part of our journey. To fall in love, get broken and find the path to true love. Loving ourselves. We must allow the process or we get stuck on repeat.
Some people are just the dark colors. Dysfunction. Chaos. Drama. Lies. Manipulation. And sometimes we put on blinders so not to see the very obvious. But when the darkness keeps taking over, whether like a slow black smoke cloud flowing over everything in its path or like a hurricane storm thrashing pain and damage all around, you must step away. Run. You must save yourself. You are no good to those you love if you lose yourself.
Sometimes we learn things immediately, catching on right away. Sometimes we must beat the lesson in ourselves, over and over again. Just remember it’s a sign your heart was too big and when there’s empty space we sometimes fill that with unnecessary things.
It’s time to clear the clutter from your mind, body & soul. Pick up the important pieces to keep and donate the useless crap to someone else. You don’t need it.