Life is always changing…just when you find some peace and stability and are okay, life changes.
Sometimes I find it difficult not to feel like the world and all in it are against me. I try to do the right thing, use morals and values. I don’t want to do negative things and have those things bounce back to me. I’m not perfect and I own , accept and apologize for my mistakes. I’m human and nothing near perfect…but I do try to be a good person.
So why do so many things go wrong in my life? Why do the people I should trust the most hurt me? It seems purposely. They plot things behind my back..why? What does that accomplish! I’m lacking loyalty in my family, and it hurts the most when they fail me. It feels like a knife twisting in my chest digging out my heart and soul. Is it wrong I want others to come to my defense when I’ve been wronged?? To stand up for me and say “that’s not cool! She’s been through enough and doesn’t deserve that! Shame on you!”. When people I trust don’t defend me, it seems to hurt me more than what happened…no one in my life just stands up for what is RIGHT! I don’t care who’s in the wrong, just stand up for what is morally right!
Maybe I shouldnt care, but I do. If I live my life trying to do the right thing, why would people down talk me or my children? Knowing all we’ve been through…why are people so mean? Even when you call them on it “that’s just mean” or “that really hurt me” instead of apologizing they instead attack you. Like, “how dare you be hurt by me!”
People have a “version” of themselves they want others to see…but then there’s the truth.. Don’t you want the version to be the same thing as the truth? Don’t you want to be your best self?