Parenting a teen tips?

Things are so different now for my kids than they were for me when I was their age…How do you parent a kid and discipline them, ground them from electronics when they have access everywhere they turn! And these kids are smarter than the parents at using all the technology. How are we parents suppose to be a step ahead of them! Once I think I figured out how I realize I’m a fool and go hide in my room while I try to figure out how in the world I can beat them this time.

I never skipped class, NEVER! I was too scared of my mom (thank you mom!) I was that weird kid you knew that always did the right thing..always did what she was told to do, even if I hated it! Most people knew why, my parents scared the death out of me and I wasn’t ballsy enough to test them. But at the time I thought I was too cool and I’m sure I liked to think that’s what others thought.

My mom even says how I was the easy one, I didn’t give her any trouble. Mind you I lived with my boyfriend at 16 and worked two jobs while I went to school. I never went to a party. I never had a one night stand or slept around with all the guys on the football team. I didn’t get drunk, do drugs or smoke.

Yes, I lived with my boyfriend and his aging mother when I was just 16. But I still did what I was told. I went to school every day, on time. I got great grades and worked my butt off. I graduated high school a year early and started college at 17 with a scholarship. (then I got pregnant with twins but we’ll save that story for another crappy day)

But now looking back, now I realize what my mom meant when she warned me about giving up my childhood. She specifically told me she didn’t want me to miss out on school dances or clubs or friends. I was a teenager, enough said! I thought she was jealous of me and my devoted boyfriend. (HAHA! To this day she loves throwing this in my face, with good reason I guess.)

Now I sit here, 34-year-old mother of 3, divorced and lonely. I didn’t make those lifelong friends my mom talked about. I didn’t join any of the clubs. I didn’t go to one school dance. I lived like an old married lady. I went to school, then work, then home to watch movies with my boyfriend and our dog. Sometimes we’d go out for dinner, but that is really how I remember my boring teen life. Kinda regret letting go of the opportunity to live free without responsibility and party like a crazy person! 🙂

Now I have two, yes TWO beautiful 15-year-old daughters. They are great girls, I’ve been very lucky. They’re smart, talented, popular, active in school programs and yes they’ve been to a few dances. I hate checking their phones and Facebook accounts, but really there is just too much that could happen. I didn’t check, I trusted their judgement, the same mistake my mother made with me when I was their age…and my girls had gotten a little out of hand. No they didn’t get pregnant! (Thank god) But they both got their first ‘D’! They got disrespectful at times throwing their attitude around like they were in charge. They were totally self involved, one worried me more than the other. But just when you think things are okay, the other one throws a curve ball and the result is gray hair! I seriously have apologized to my mom for being a lazy selfish teenager who just thought the laundry washed itself, the pets poop disappeared in thin air, I assumed life was easier than my parents made it seem. I thought “I will be so much better than this! and I would never make my kids go through this!” Life has its way of throwing a heavy dose of reality at you when you think you know better. I guess life thought I needed ALOT of reality checks, but I’m learning to take them in stride.

What is my fear? That I won’t succeed in raising great kids. Kids that have respect for themselves and other. Kids that are determined and motivated to do good things. Kids that graduate from college and become successful in their lives. I want my kids to be better than I was. On one hand I did the right things, but at 18 I lost my focus. I got so wrapped up in my boyfriend I didn’t care about college or a career. I want my kids to stay on track and keep their goals in center stage! I don’t want them to miss out on making the right choices for their future. I am terrified that all our hard work will go down the toilet. I’m terrified some schmuck will walk in and light their world (temporarily) and they won’t care about anything else but being with that person. I’m scared they’ll screw up like I did. I want better for them. They deserve so much better. I hope they understand that’s where all my ‘slamming down the hammer’ is from, fear of the known. I don’t want them stuck in life. I want them to spread their wings and soar. Because they are amazing and I don’t want them to forget that.

Please my dear angels sent from above…don’t ever forget how truly amazing you are. And know that I am just trying my hardest to help guide you. And no matter what please know I never want you to leave. I want you to stay as those adorable 4-year-old girls with the Bronx accents singing “I pledge allegiance”, I’m still quite selfish I guess. It’s only because you are so awesome and I just want to protect you from all the hurt this world can do. Please don’t forget this.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sharon Zalovich
    Mar 22, 2012 @ 16:12:20

    PROUD Grammy:):)

    Reply

  2. thismomsfranticmind
    Mar 22, 2012 @ 16:48:13

    Thank you mom 🙂

    Reply

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