I hear this alot…not from my kids. Okay, sometimes from my kids, but more from other people. I know I’m a good mom (I think I am at least) but it is nice to hear it. Even as an adult I want to be praised!
I’m sitting in the hospital with my son for his 4th video EEG. I remember the first time he had one and how I didn’t expect anything to come from it. The second one I wasn’t sure exactly what the doctors would find. I thought either it would confirm the epilepsy diagnoses or say he wasn’t even having seizures at all. The 3rd one I couldn’t believe how badly I wanted him to have a seizure! We were there for 5 days waiting for one. We loaded him with sugar and pop and made him stay up late, woke him up early, anything to bring one on. I even cranked up the heat to sweat one out of him! (he gets them when he overheats) I was completely and utterly exhausted.
One night me and my girls played a game to encourage Ryan to hyperventilate for the doctor, which means make him breathe fast. So the game was dare or dare, because Ryan hates the truth part of truth or dare so he said only the dare part. So me and his (amazing) sisters would allow Ryan to dare us to do silly embarrassing things in trade for 10 fast breaths. Each dare was more humiliating than the last one and we would increase the breaths. “If I do that you better give me 15 breaths!” I had to sing and dance “walk like an Egyptian” mind you our room had glass walls so all the floor could see(the one time I appreciated the staff not paying attention). One of my girls had to let Ryan give her a wet willy holding his finger in her ear for 5 seconds (bless your heart Ashley). Breanna’s turn came and Ryan wanted to give her a wet willy for 10 seconds and Breanna absolutely refused! “no way! You probably haven’t brushed your teeth” and right as she said that word Ryan swiped his finger across her tongue. The finger that sat in Ashley’s ear for 5 seconds(I think he even picked his nose…gross I know)! LOL! We couldn’t stop laughing, Breanna couldn’t wipe her tongue off hard enough! We even talked a nurse into dancing like a chicken for 20 breaths! That was the best time during that whole 5 days, we laughed so hard! This mom doesn’t enjoy her baby (he’s 10 I know…but my kids are all still my babies)staying in a hospital. I just wanted the test to be done but also giving the doctors the results they needed.
This is the 4th EEG, we’re hoping for a 24 hour stay, but it could go 48 hours. I pray for 24 hours. My doggies at home will be going crazy tonight since I’m not there, one night is enough. Don’t make them suffer for 2 nights! Anyway back to my title…
I am told by a lot of people that I’m a good mom. I hear many things, usually encouraging. But my first thought is usually “well what is the other option?” Because the way I see it, there’s no choice for me. He needs me here! I am the only parent he has! The only person he can count on, to never break their promise to him! I need to support him and he needs these tests, he has Epilepsy for crying out loud! This is what a mother does! You sacrifice and suffer for your kids! That’s what the title mom means! I know this is the last thing he wants to do, I need to be here! But the truth is, not all moms think the same. Not all moms can do this. I didn’t think I’d be this mom. I honestly never imagined having a child with health issues. You dream of your baby being perfect, counting 10 fingers and 10 toes. I would have never imagined I’d be this strong. But that’s what being a mom is. There are so many parts to make us good parents. We weren’t born with them, we learn them as we go. The struggles create strength. Pain creates appreciation. All of the steps we’ve gone through had a purpose, a lesson for us. It’s up to us to grab them and learn from them. Let the lessons make us better people, better parents.
I am a good mom.